Fan: my creys. my feels. hold me.
Translation: The emotional impact of this episode/line/character is almost beyond my capacity to hold in my feelings. I could really use the support of my fellow fans.
Fan: how does your face even work you DICKFACE JUST TAKE MY OVARIES YOU ASSWIPE ugh i will never be able to reproduce
Translation: I find this person to be very attractive and am oft left stunned by his/her seemingly flawless physical appearance.
Fan: i cannot. i am unable to can.
Translation: I am deeply in awe of this art/fanfiction/person/etc. It feels as though I've temporarily lost the ability to function.
Fan: omg omG I HATE YOU FUCK YOU UGGGH GO DIE
Translation: I love you. Every fiber of my being burns with a passion hotter than one thousand white-hot suns. I may or may not have a chewed-gum shrine of you in my closet.